Close your eyes...

...and remember that feeling when:

...you walked up stairs and almost had to stop and catch your breath and were disgusted at how unfit you'd become.

...you went shopping for clothes for 6 hours and ended up buying nothing and going home in tears because every single thing you tried on didn't quite fit or look right to you.

...you walked into a pub and worried about people looking at you and wondered if you'd chosen the right outfit to hide your flabby arms/big bum.

...you just finished a pizza/garlic bread/chocolate/icecream/cheesecake binge and you thought your sides were going to split to the point you couldn't lay down and were disgusted at the thought of how many calories you just put into your poor little body.

...you couldn't pull your sexiest pants on over your thighs.

Now, close your eyes once more and remember these feelings, when:

...you just finished an absolute flog session in the gym. You thought at one point you might actually vomit, but you caught a glimpse of your muscles in the mirror and that kept you going.

...everyone was eating pizza, but you chose chicken and salad, then pushed away from the table feeling lighter and healthier than ever.

...you went shopping for clothes, walked into the first shop and tried on the first thing that caught your eye and it looked and felt awesome. As did every other thing you tried on that day.

...you walked into a pub, with your head held high, knowing that you look hot.

All of these things are powerful reminders for me. Thinking about them has got me back on the straight-and-narrow and kept me there. It's all about ideals... I want to be as happy as I can be in this life, so that I can be the best I can be in the world around me. A big part of me being happy is being happy in my skin. We all say it doesn't matter what we look like, it's what's inside that counts... blah blah... but I know in myself that if I never have to stress about finding something to wear, finding something that fits, feeling like people are staring at my flaws or feeling like I am so unfit I might die young, then I have a lot more head space for much more important things in life. I have noticed a distinct difference over the years in my confidence and general contentedness between when I am unfit and when I am fit. My body is where I live, and if it is messy and unkempt then my mind and heart feels the same way.